Thursday, February 28, 2013


Ugh I've had this post written since Thursday. Stupid chemo brain forgetting to post it! Thursday I had my 6th and final chemo! It started as usual with breakfast at the diner by my house. My mom came with me for my last treatment. After breakfast we went to my oncologists office for my treatment. I had my mom take a picture so I could have a first day and last day picture (ugh I miss my hair!!).

Of course my port was acting up on my last chemo. Apparently they need a blood return in order to do chemo and mine wasn't cooperating. They did my pre-meds and then tried again and still nothing. So I was given some other meds to get it working and thankfully it worked!

I finally got my chemo drugs going and I was on my way. You know you're ready to be done when you start making IV beeping noises to convince your nurse that your IV is beeping!

When it was all done I put in my college graduation cap and celebrated! I'm so happy to have chemo done!

Me and my biggest fan :) 

I'm so excited that chemo is finally over! I can get my port out in the next couple weeks and I can go get a mani/pedi in 3 weeks! Wahoo! My poor hands and feet need it! Plus hopefully it will be flip flop weather soon! Just in time! 

This round has been pretty much the same as the last round. Including the stupid insomnia. Not even NyQuil worked last night but I'm going to try again tonight! Hopefully in the next couple days I'll be back to "normal"!

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

The night before my final chemo

Tomorrow is my 6th and final chemo. I haven't really been that excited about it but I'm really excited today. I cannot wait for this to be over! I asked my doctor today why I can't just do 5 instead of 6. She just laughed and didn't answer.

When I told people that my last chemo is tomorrow they've been so excited and asked me if I was too. My answer has always been no. Its hard to explain. I don't want to do chemo anymore, obviously, but being in treatment feels like a security blanket. Like the cancer can't come back because I'm taking these medicines to keep it away. I know I still have radiation to go but chemo feels like its working. I don't now what radiation feels like yet but you know chemo is working because of how your body looks and feels while you go through it.

The other reason that I'm not excited for chemo to be over is because its one step closer to all treatment being over but I still have to live like I have cancer for the next 5 years. My life will never again be like it was on July 10th. Its been hard to keep reminding myself of that. And that's definitely the hardest part to get over. I still want to be pregnant and I want to pretend like this all never happened but I can't do either and that really sucks. Its been a rough couple weeks emotionally.

At my oncologist appointment today we talked about radiation and my doctor told me that I would be doing 6 weeks of radiation. I was really bummed because I thought I was going to do 4 weeks. I know 2 weeks doesn't seem like a lot but that's 10 more treatments. I can't imagine the fatigue I'll feel after 30 or so radiation treatments. By mid-May I'll probably feel like I could hibernate until September! I'm thinking about how work is going to fit into all of this but I think I need to see how I'll feel first before I make any decisions. I'm not thinking about taking 6 weeks off of work (although that sounds amazing) but maybe once a week or once every 2 weeks just to rest an extra day. I have to go to radiation 5 days a week and I've heard by Friday most people are just completely drained.  

But my chemo nurse saw me and reminded me to get an order to get my port out after chemo is over. She said I can go within 3 weeks of tomorrow. I'm SO excited. I can't wait to get this stupid port out!! And I still have to find out when I can resume the things I've been banned from this whole mani/pedis. I could really use one!

I'm so ready for the next 5 or so days to be over so I can (HOPEFULLY) never have to do chemo again!!! WAHOO last chemo!!

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

5 down...1 to go!!

I wrote this post earlier this week then forgot to usual. I'm going to blame chemo brain!!

Thursday (the 7th) I had my FIFTH chemo treatment. Just like my doctor said I am more angry/annoyed then happy. The nausea seemed to be a little less this time (or I controlled it better) but now I'm experiencing insomnia which is totally new. I know its a side effect of my steroid but my steroid is totally out of my system now. I'm not sure whats going on. My stomach is still confused but I'm learning how to deal with that much better. Maybe by next round I'll have it down!

I was so happy to have my friend Kelly come with me to my chemo treatment. I know its a boring 4 hours but its great to have friends/family there to entertain you! It was also bittersweet because my 2 chemo friends had their final treatment. But we exchanged information and have pending plans for a girls dinner/drinks after they have their surgery in March. I'm so excited. The oncologists office should be studied as a science experiment  Unlike other doctors offices people talk to each other in the waiting area and share really personal information. I guess because we're all there for the same reason. And sometimes, the people who you sit by at chemo become your friends.

I am totally excited that I only have ONE MORE CHEMO!! Before last round and this coming round every time I think about chemo I get a little nauseous. I think I just know that's how I'll feel so my stomach just prepares itself for it.

Between round 4 and 5 we through our beautiful daughter her third birthday party! It was so much fun! She goes to an awesome daycare and has made such great friends, some of those who have turned into our great friends. We had about 16 kids painting and making fruit loop necklaces. I also some how made this rainbow cake which I'm so proud of! I'm not sure I've ever really made a cake before. It was very easy. I found this link because I knew I wanted to use box cake instead of trying to make it myself. The best advice was to freeze each layer over night to make frosting easier.

We also watched Mackenzie's 2nd ballet recital. Thankfully she participated in this one! She is such a cute ballerina!

I can't wait for this next round to be finished. I'm so looking forward to March and having NO treatments at all. Then April will be filled with stupid daily radiation treatments and then hopefully finished!

Yesterday, I was feeling a little down and sad for myself (probably lack of sleep) and then I got a great package in the mail from Fighting Fancy. It is an amazing bag with make up, nail polish, mouthwash, a tshirt, note cards, lotion, shampoo, a Hallmark card from Heather who runs the charity and the cutest art work from a 10 year old. It had the most perfect timing.

Since I was diagnosed I have been trying to come up with a way to pay it forward when this is all done and it's starting to come together in my head. I know for sure it will involve a blood drive (so get your veins ready) but I also wanted a way to give back to the charities that gave to me. It will hopefully be in July (my diagnosis anniversary date). We know I love to throw a good party so you've been warned!