How things are going

Last Wednesday when I went to radiation they made me see the doctor before I could be treated because of my burns. The doctor said I should have treatment that day but should take off Thursday and Friday giving me a 4 day weekend. The break was nice but it's not like it really helped clear up my burns. They're still here. In fact, today the radiation therapists made me see the doctor again before I could be treated. When they asked how my burns were I said better and worse. There are parts where I can see new skin (right under where it says armpit on the picture on the left) and that's great. But as you can see in the same picture, the overall look is worse. The picture on the right is on my ribs and that's the other gross part that is oozing and peeling. I have been taping surgical pads to me because they're usually oozing. I told the doctor today, its not really painful its just GROSS.

I have 2 more regular treatments and then 1.5 weeks of the boost. I think I'l be done June 4th. That's my guess anyway. That will be almost 8 weeks of treatment on and off. I can't wait for my poor skin to be back to normal. I feel like I have to walk around like I have my arm in a sling so I don't move it too much. At least with the surgical pads it feels a little bit better less gross.

In other news.....

I'm super excited that you can FINALLY see some hair! I still can't tell what color it is going to be. The sides look dark but the top looks tinted red a little bit. Maybe that's just wishful thinking! 

This weekend we also celebrated my brother Ryan's wedding to his new wife Claire! The got married last month in Hawaii (lucky!) and had a party this weekend in Arlington. It was so fun and so great to see all my family. This picture is kind of crappy quality but you get the gist. We are all so happy to have Claire in our family! 

I read this article today on Huffington Post (click here) and it is like this guy wrote it from my thoughts. Its been a lot on my mind lately about how I should feel and how people think I should feel. I try really hard to keep a positive attitude because that's how I cope with having cancer. My happy face isn't to make anyone else feel better about it. Maybe that sounds harsh. It might be. But I honestly can't really care about how my cancer makes other people feel that aren't my immediate family. Some days (besides going to radiation) I really don't think about having cancer. But some days are REALLY shitty and really scary and I almost panic that I actually have cancer. I wish that as soon as radiation is over and I get the all clear that I never have to think about this again but that's not the reality. I'm excited to get this over with and start to be able to physically and mentally move on and hopefully just have to remember I had cancer every 6 months or so for scans. I have such mixed feelings about radiation ending. Obviously I cannot wait to not have to due this anymore but it's still pretty scary to not get any more treatment.