July

I can't believe it's all ready July. I've been dreading this month. My Cancerversary. Where I can think back to everyday during this month last year and remember how innocent I was. I've started to think of everyday of my life until July 23rd as BC (before cancer). I'm anxiously anticipating my appointment on the 17th where I'll hopefully hear the "r" word or NED (remission or no evidence of disease). Although I've been NED since my scans in Sept/Oct I think. But it's not official until treatment is over. 

Last year on this date I was DREADING tomorrow because I didn't want to have blood work done. I still can't believe what happened on July 11th and the days after. I still cannot believe this has happened to me. I knew from the second the lump was found that I had cancer. I could barely keep the tears back in the doctors office. She tried to convince me that it would be nothing and I'm sure she thought it would be nothing. But I had a feeling that this was it. 

I haven't started taking tamoxifen yet. I was going to start July 1 but I'm giving my body a chance to rest for a little longer. I have been EXHAUSTED since radiation has been over and I think it's because I've been running off adrenaline for 11 months. I forget how much my body has been though sometimes. Body parts were removed, nerves and other insides were rerouted and all the poison that was put in my body for months is finally working its way out. 

Later this week I'll be posting the details of my fundraiser. I'm so excited (/terrified/anxious) for it! I hope a lot of money is raised and I can help others that have helped me! Save the date of August 3rd!