Advocacy Day

Yesterday George and I went to Capitol Hill to participate in Resolve's Advocacy Day. I debated about attending for weeks- maybe months. But then the House of Representatives passed that awful healthcare bill and I decided that I would do anything I could to help. 

I felt a little weird about going. I still don't really consider myself infertile. I had cancer and I can no longer even try to get pregnant. But I probably am infertile from chemo. I just don't know for sure. But these issues are important for every woman. Every person in this country knows someone who is infertile. You might not know you know someone- but you definitely do. 1 in 8 couples is affected by infertility. Not just women- men too. And no one talks about it. Because we think we aren't supposed to. But it is SO helpful to so many couples if you share your story. It is the worst feeling to think that you are alone. 

We didn't really know what we were in for with Advocacy Day since it was our first time attending. When we got to the hotel for some training they had breakfast for us and we got started with all the information we needed to know. I knew a little bit- they have SO much information on their website including a training that they recorded that I watched earlier this week. 

We were there to talk about 3 main issues- IVF for Vets, Adoption Tax Credit Refundability and personhood bills. 

IVF for Vets was passed last year but only for 2 years. It expires in 2018. Active duty military have access to IVF through their healthcare which is great. But vets who are wounded causing problems with their reproductive systems (both men and women) did not have coverage. Can you imagine fighting for our country, getting wounded and then having no coverage when you wanted to start a family. The bill that is on the table in the House and Senate would make the IVF for Vets permanent. 

The Adoption Tax Credit Refundability would change the current tax law so that even if you don't owe taxes you would still get the tax credit back. Right now you can get up to $13,000 back as a credit but only if you owe. This is especially unhelpful to most families who adopt as they are usually middle to low income households who might not owe taxes. There are 4,700 children in foster care in Virginia. It would save our state $67,000 to $127,000 for each child that is adopted out of the foster care system. Not only would this bill be helpful to families but it makes sense for states too. 

The last part was personhood bills. Currently there are a couple in the House and the Senate. We are opposed to personhood bills. Personhood bills give rights to basically a zygote. HR 586 seeks to define that "the life of each human being begins with fertilization" and a "one-celled embryo" is "a new unique human being". This would be detrimental to couples who have to use IVF to have a child. This bill would make a law that says a women has to have ALL embryos transferred to her- there's no freezing or discarding them. Some women have 10 or more embryos. How can this be safe for her or the embryos they say they are trying to protect? While I understand part of the intent of these laws are anti-abortion they are far from being pro-family. They are certainly not pro-life and they are not pro-woman. Similar bills that have passed at the state level were used to prosecute women for having abortions. These bills would guarantee that we would not be able to have any more biological children. That is not very "pro-life" or "pro-family" to me. 

We got our schedule for the day

We listened to many speakers including Barbara Collura- President/CEO of Resolve

And Representative Timothy Walz from MN

After we listened to speakers we met with our state delegations. Virginia has a very large group and met with each other and we talked about who was going to say what in each meeting. We got to see who would be coming to our Representative meetings from the larger groups. Then because we had a 10:30 meeting we left the training a little early to walk over to the Capitol. 

So I knew the Capitol was large but WOW! I forgot about all of the other buildings attached. Thank God for the underground tunnels as it was around 90 yesterday! 

First stop was the Russell Senate Office Building to see Tim Kaine. 

The Russell Building is GORGEOUS! Exactly what you think when you think of the Capitol. We had some time before our first meeting so we waited and took in the architecture. 

This is where the media films members of Congress for their shows. We saw a couple giving interviews- although I didn't know who they were. 

Still waiting! 

George and I in front of Tim Kaine's office. 

This is our whole Virginia delegation! So big that we barely fit into Tim Kaine's conference room. Unfortunately we did not get to meet with the Senator but we met with his staffer. She was so knowledgeable and listened to our message. 

Next up was Mark Warner. We used the underground tunnels to get to the Hart Senate Building. I just want to say that umm it was A LOT different that the Russell Building. It looked like an old hotel. It was so interesting to see how different those 2 buildings are! Fun fact- I actually have met Mark Warner before when I was in SGA for 1 year in college. We took a trip to Richmond and we all got to meet him and take pictures with him when he was Governor of Virginia.

There was so many of us we couldn't even fit in Mark Warner's office so we met in the hallway. We were told in our training that we might have to meet in the hallways with some Senators or Representatives and that we would probably only meet with their staff. Obviously the men and women in congress are very busy! But their staffers are each focused on different issues such as veterans affairs, taxes, etc so it was helpful to meet with them. 

After our meeting with Mark Warner's staff we went to lunch. We didn't all stick together, some left the Capitol building and some of us ate in the cafeteria. It was nice to get to sit down and get a break from all of the walking and to get to know some of the advocates from our state a little better.

After lunch we went to the House of Representatives. Before our 2:00 pm meeting with Don Beyer we passed out letters to other Representatives who didn't have constituents there on Advocacy Day. We stopped at 2 offices but neither had staff available to meet with us so we left our information and letters for them.

One thing I was really looking forward to was riding the tram! Because I thought it took you all the way to all of the buildings- I thought it would have different stops. It doesn't. But it was nice to cut out some of the walking and it was still fun to ride!

After we dropped off the constituents letters we went to Don Beyer's office who is our Representative in the House. I was excited because I heard that we were actually going to meet with him (and we did!). It was funny because there was just 4 of us there really early for our meeting so we waited in the hallway when we saw Don Beyer walking towards us. He said hello to us and we told him we would be in soon! 

This is our group for Don Beyer. Obviously geography helps for our group to be so big but I think its important for our Congressmen and women to see the people who are facing the issues they are representing us on. We all crowded into his office- his staff was so accommodating of us. He saw on his desk and listened to all of our issues. It was nice to talk to him personally. I wish I could have asked him more questions but we stuck to the issues! 

George and I with our Rep. Don Beyer. He is such a kind man. It was helpful to talk to 3 democrats about the issues we wanted to discuss because they all were very supportive. 

After our meetings there was a reception with some snacks and drinks. We filled out our form about the day and then I pretended like I was in a House of Representatives committee. I think I fit right in! 

We cut out of the reception a little early to make our way back to Arlington- but not before a selfie with the Capitol. 

Gorgeous inside and out!

I don't know how accurate this is because its from George's iPhone but I think it was pretty close. If you are going to a day at the Capitol be prepared for a lot of stairs and steps! 

One think we were totally unprepared for was the dogs we say in the House! We were walking down one hallway, I looked down an adjacent hall and saw a girl throwing a ball to her dog. Like the size of Bailey! And then after our Don Beyer meeting we saw a man walking down the hall with his black lab puppy. I took a picture of him but sadly he was too wiggly and it didn't come out. His owner said that if the Rep you work for allows it then its okay- usually during recesses. The staffers do a lot of hard work for most of the year so I think its so cool they get to bring their dogs in when they have a little break! 

Overall I think Advocacy Day was a huge success. I am really glad we went. I hate that it takes something personally affecting you or someone close to you before you really start paying attention but we are here now and ready to continue fighting for this. I think people either forget or don't know that infertility is a medically diagnosed disease. It makes no sense that most insurances do not cover it.

I want to end this by saying a HUGE thank you to my husband George. He didn't really know what he was signing up for (oops!) but I told him it was important to me, and us, and he took the day off and went with me. I've heard awful stories of husbands and wives who don't make it through cancer diagnosis or infertility. Not only has he always shown unwavering support of me and our family but he does it without complaint or asking "why me/us". He has been my rock, my cheerleader, my shoulder to cry on for the last 11 years. We never ever thought we would have to go anything like this, let alone so young and so early in our marriage but I think we have been even stronger together. There are times when I don't think I can go through this surrogacy stuff anymore but he continues to help me search for the light at the end of the tunnel. I could not have ever found a better partner for me through all of this or life in general. Again, thank you so much George- I love you forever and ever.