Surgery

Today is day 3 post-surgery. I'm doing okay for 3 days after I think. Finally showered today (well my mom gave me a shower...I just sat there) and I'm walking a little more and using my breathing machine. I get very sore if I sit for awhile and then try to move. I'm guessing that's normal.

Monday we spent the day running errands, Mackenzie and I got pedicures then my friend Kelly took me to the cathedral in DC and to Chop't. It was such a great day. I got a lot of good crying out at the Cathedral. I lit candles and said everything to God that I could think of.

On Tuesday I woke up to see Mackenzie leave for school. I knew I'd be too much of a mess to take her with George so I said bye at home. It was really hard. I knew it would be the last time I would see her for awhile and how much I'd miss her. I cried so much when I was saying bye. I'm sure she was so confused.

We got to the hospital around 10 and checked in and went back to my pre-op room. I changed into my gown and socks and answered a lot of questions then had my iv started. I had a beautiful gift basket and a pink rose delivered from the hospital. Around 12 I went to nuclear medicine to have dye injected for my sentinel node dissection. The blue dye helps the doctor find the lymph nodes to remove.

That procedure took about 5 minutes. It wasn't too painful just very strange. When I got back to my room we waiting for the doctors to come in and mark me. My plastic surgeon marked me with purple marker like a football field. My surgeon came in and talked to us for awhile then the anesthesia nurse came in. When she came in I knew it was time to get going. I was asked a few more questions and then they gave me versaid. I started crying again because I was so scared. I kissed my mom and George and they rolled me down the hall. I remember them moving me to the operating table and talking to me a lot but I can't remember what they were saying.

I woke up to the plastic surgeon talking but I was so groggy I have no idea what he was saying. They moved me to the recovery room and it felt like it took a long time to get awake from the anesthesia. I remember the nurse was talking to another patient about how part of the recovery room closes at 9 and I kept thinking why are they so concerned...9 is 3 hours away. I asked what time it was and the nurse told me it was 845pm. I got really worried that something bad happened because it was almost 3 hours past when surgery should have ended.

I finally made it up to my room around 930pm where my mom and George met me. I woke up so thirsty from surgery and all they would give me in the recovery room was ice chips so I couldn't wait to drink something real. I had 2 glasses of water then I got to have some grape juice. BEST juice I've ever had. In the future I'll NEVER have surgery that late again. Its so hard to spend the night trying to recover from surgery. Apparently they didn't actually start surgery until 2 and they stopped anesthesia around 8pm. Way too late.

The bad news is they found cancer in 2 lymph nodes. I'm not sure how many they took out...that will be in the final pathology report. So there will be chemo for sure. I was expecting chemo anyway but I'm pretty surprised the cancer was in my lymph nodes.

I think I was a little naive at how hard recovery would be. I knew I wouldn't be perfect the day after surgery but I'm surprised at how sore I am. I stopped taking Percocet on Thursday and switched to Tylenol. Percocet makes me feel a little groggy. At the hospital they give you a button to push to administer your own pain meds (dilatid) and that didn't really work that well for me. It is very short lasting since you can push the button every 6 minutes but I kept forgetting to push it so I would wake up so sore. I was happy to switch to Percocet at 8am but then all the doctors, nurses, physical therapists came in and it was hard to pay attention to all of them. I must have looked like a mess!

I'm so thankful I'm able to stay at my parents house because I have no idea how I would be recovering at home. I miss my home and Mackenzie and George but its easier to not have the mom guilt of Mackenzie wanting me to pick her up and hold her. My moms being my nurse and making me do things that I don't want to do but that are essential to my recovery. I could sleep all day but I need to get up and move so that I get range of motion back in my arms...eventually. I'm so glad the first step of this process is finally over and I can get over the anxiety it was bringing me.