November

***I've been writing this post for the last 5 days. For some reason my brain is so scattered and I start writing a post and then forget to finish and publish and then I have to change it because days have passed when I remember to go back to it!...I blame cancer!***

I usually LOVE October. Its fall, my anniversary month and more importantly its SO close to November which is my favorite month of all! But this year October reminded me every.single.minute that I have breast cancer because pink was every where and it was harder than I thought. I get that people want to support cancer but I'm not sure the gimmicks of "Breast Cancer Awareness Month" are helping cancer as much as you might think. Yes its better than $1 from your $50 purchase goes to cancer then NOTHING but using cancer to promote your product or your business disgusts me. I started to write a whole post on this topic but I never finished it or published it because I don't want people to not donate. We NEED awareness and money for early detection and research.

But now its finally over (along with one of my least favorite holidays...Halloween!) and its November. Speaking of Halloween, I have to show pictures of my beautiful Snow White! This was the first time we took her trick or treating and she loved it. She also loved handing out candy.

Bailey supervising Mackenzie and George

November means voting (one of my favorite rights), my birthday MONTH and Thanksgiving (my favorite holiday). I love this time of year. Its colder, the leaves are beautiful and everything is orange and brown and so cozy feeling.

My birthday plans have been up in the air because I didn't know when egg retrieval/ chemo starting would be. I was thinking about having my head shaving party that day because I was thinking chemo would start last week but since its not my mom and I are going to go away on a little R&R trip! Last year we went to Atlantic City and Ocean City, MD for my birthday and I'm glad we did because those areas have been absolutely devastated by Hurricane Sandy.

I've had a ton of doctors appointments recently because of the fertility stuff and I'm getting pretty tired of going. I seriously can't wait for chemo to start. Such a weird thing to say. I know I'm going to have a lot of appointments with chemo too but at least I'll be getting treatment instead of being in this weird state of limbo.

I finally started my injections this weekend and its terrible/not as terrible as I was expecting. My poor husband spent Saturday night waiting for me to get enough courage to get the shot. I tried to do it myself twice but I just couldn't. I kept thinking...If I was at the doctor, they would come in and just do it, why can't you just do it. But something about being at your own house and getting an injection from your husband who has no training is daunting! He should have come to the injection class with me! I am so lucky to have all this medication donated to me by LiveStrong/Fertile Hope but it still sucks to have to do it. Twice when he was about to inject me I broke down in tears about how unfair all of this is.

Tonight will be my 4th night of injections. Tonight will be 2 separate injections (of 3 medications). Then tomorrow morning I start one in the morning and one at night. I really wish I did this right after my mastectomy because the medication makes me so tired and I would have slept so much better!